We had our anatomy ultrasound last Monday and got the news that Michael has been waiting to hear since we were pregnant with our first … IT’S A GIRL! He was sure Dean was going to be a girl, so after that ultrasound he was in a little bit of shock/disappointment. This time I was the one in a little bit of shock. I won’t say disappointment because I wasn’t disappointed, just scared.
Ever since the desire to have kids kicked in several years ago, I’ve been afraid of having a girl, ONLY because I was projecting my own experiences of adolescence onto this unborn child. So after we told our family and friends, I was speaking to my aunt who said “your daughter is not going to have the same experiences as you, and she’s not going to be growing up under the same circumstances you did, so she’s going to be ok.” And it was like a total a-ha moment and ever since then I’ve been able to relax and get excited about the fact that Dean is about to have a little sister!
In other big news … I think I mentioned previously that my husband’s job was going to move us to Dallas, TX, and it looks like that might happen sooner than we originally anticipated. We’re meeting with the realtors this week and hopefully will have the house listed by the end of the month and be in a new home in Texas by July at the latest because I have a very limited window of when I can travel! Plus decorating a nursery and getting a house to feel like a home is not an easy task while 9 months pregnant.
And until then, I’m trying to collect as few new baby items as possible. Which on the one hand makes me nervous, because I’m afraid we’ll be missing something we need, but on the other hand, it’s nice to not be adding to the clutter and list of things we have to move.
I’ve already been through Dean’s old clothes and set aside outfits that are unisex enough to be used for our little lady, so she’ll be good for her first few months. And I know that if we have a baby shower, we’ll get everything else we need. Plus my mother in law and friend have already gifted me a couple of super adorable girly things!
It’s so much to think about, but it is exciting. And it’s very exciting to be able to be excited about things again. My therapy has been going great, and my prescriptions have finally evened out and I’m feeling more like myself now.
The best thing about feeling good is that I’ve been able to be so much more patient and kind with Dean – who is undoubtedly the absolute love of my life. Every day I am completely amazed at the little person he’s becoming. He’s so brave and curious, so smart and so sweet, he’s just really incredible. We took him to the YMCA pool yesterday for Mother’s Day and after a few moments of apprehension he just went for it. He took total control and was walking all over the kiddie pool and then LOVED climbing the little play gym in the middle of it and went down the covered slide all by himself. He went up and down that thing like 20 times. There were kids two and three years older than him who were too afraid to do what he was doing. It was amazing. I know that every kid is different, but seriously, this kid is fearless and I love it. Yes it gives me a heart attack some days, but I really think he only tries new things like he does because he trusts that Michael and I are going to be there to catch him or pick him up should he fall, and that just makes my heart swell.
Motherhood has by far been the biggest, greatest adventure I’ve ever been on. It has by no means been an easy road, but man I wouldn’t trade it for the world. And I am incredibly nervous about what life is going to be like once there are TWO kids and I’m outnumbered while Michael is at work, but I can’t lie to myself or anyone else and say that I’m not feeling excited about it because I know that if anything, it’s just going to make me stronger and better.